If there’s one thing that you have to do when it comes time to plan for your wedding, you’re going to have to break the rules. That sounds really bold and almost a little terrifying, but it’s well worth it. You see, when you accept a bunch of rules into your life, you’re not necessarily going to be happier. Far too often when people get married, their parents try to run over them, making it hard to tell them no. On the other hand, even if your parents are laid back, you’ll probably find at least one friend that wants to try to run the whole show. It’s not their wedding — it’s yours. You’re going to need to make sure that you really are focusing on the big picture. This is just a celebration, since you are starting a new chapter in your life. It’s not going to be easy, but you might as well enjoy the adventures ahead. If you only focus on what everyone else expects you to do, then you’re bound to get disappointed sooner or later. Why not make sure that you’re able to really take care of yourself? If you aren’t thinking about what you want to get out of your wedding, you’re just going to find the whole ordeal very frustrating.
It’s better to stop and break all of the wedding rules that you don’t agree with. For example, let’s talk about dresses. Bold groupings of women now are choosing non-white wedding dresses to wear. Is that a right choice for everyone? not really — you will want to make sure that you are making the choice in dress based on your style. Nothing says that you can’t get married in a blue dress, or a tan dress, or even a bright red dress. It’s going to be up to you and what you feel comfortable with. Keep in mind that if you do end up going alternative, you’ll end up drawing some attention. Not all of it is necessarily going to be positive. Some people will feel that you’re really out of line for choosing an alternative dress.
What you need to do during the planning phase is to set boundaries. Let your friends and family know what’s up for discussion, and what isn’t. It’s your special day, so you have to make it count. Talk things over with your husband to be as well. There’s nothing that says that you have to keep everything bottled up within yourself. If other people are making you feel bad, tell them so. There’s nothing that says that you have to cater to everyone. If anything, this is the one day where everyone is supposed to cater to you.
You must make sure that you focus on breaking the “rules” that are holding you back. That’s not to say that you can’t keep other traditions. You just need to figure out how to pick your battles without alienating everyone. If you’re concerned about what people think, you need to decide how much that is worth to you. If you don’t think about that, then you’re not going to have the beautiful wedding you deserve. Good luck!